I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Everything about him screamed your future.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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