I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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