Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why do cheetos always look like penises
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize