I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
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He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
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Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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