She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
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I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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