The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize