I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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