Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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