worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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