i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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