Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize