Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Do vagina's smell?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize