Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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