a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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