She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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