i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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