I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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