just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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