I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize