Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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