I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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