bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize