We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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