That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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