Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize