the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm getting married
To pizza
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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