I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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