My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize