Define "chronic" masturbator.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
there was a trapeze. enough said
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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