did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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