you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize