Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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