You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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