your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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