I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
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just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
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By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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