cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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