Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
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So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
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He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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