he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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