Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize