And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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