So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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