Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize