I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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