wanna go halves on a baby?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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