You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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