What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
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Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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