what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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