if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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