In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize