We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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